Post by Kansas on Apr 11, 2013 9:26:27 GMT -5
Always a tough act to follow, the NFELDIES!
Readers discretion is advised.
The 1 more win then I'll get next season Award
Indianapolis Colts (1-12) Achille Stink
The only way to save this team would be to take the top 15 FA's and just give them all to him. If this was World of warcraft Id be Mr. T Achille would be whatever a tiny thing is in that game.
The Most annoying dude on the internet Award
Denver Broncos (2-11) Andrew Bailey
I don't remember when you took over the team but lets just blame the entire season on you anyways. Andrew is one smart dude but there's no way he's an owner by the time 2013 starts he's got a bad rep and a big mouth. I fucking hate this guy.
The I went to take a bath in 2011, its now 2013 and my team is the worst, Time travel motherfucker Award
San Francisco 49ers (2-11) Sean Miller
After I lay a beat down on his candy ass in the finals of our cap hockey side league this week we will all know who the greatest Canadian is. This team is terrible what in the actual fuck happened?
The Mr. Updated Award.
New York Giants (2-11) Jim Larson
Your inability to update your shit here and in GS3 along with the inability to achieve an erection makes for a terrible combination of a man. If I met you in person I'd stomp your guts out. I hate you.
The I'm not the gay brother Award
Washington Redskins (3-10) Dave Anderson
Personally I cant believe this team beat 3 others. Daphud sucks but atleast he's not Nate.
The Don’t worry I have cap space Award
Arizona Cardinals (3-11) Cherals Cheatenson
Smurph gets up in the morning, sits to piss then puts on his clownshoes and takes a walk around in em. Before he leaves to go fry chicken at Fuckeyes and curse at the women he works with he makes time to cheat in some form of fantasy sports.
The 6 wins in 3 years Award
New England Patriots (3-10) Jack Journey
If your colossal failures were a golf tournament you'd be the Masters of the NFLD. I was gonna quit this league but leaving it behind with you in charge is imminent death. When owners cum in your face they hardly enjoy it anymore.
The Shane of all trades Award.
New York Jets (3-10) Shane Pence
Dude you're a fuckin donkey and a disgrace to fantasy sports. You've become my used condom here and in GS3 and I've fucked you so many times I'm bored. We've tried anal, spankings, choking, the works but nothing seems to satisfy. There is no doubt that I will continue to use you as my storage unit in 2013. "What's up" now ?
The I've watched all the twilight movies and loved them Award.
Seattle Seahawks (4-9) Nate Anderson
How much longer can I really make fun of Nate for being gay you ask? Is it getting old and boring? Well the answer to that is forever cause I hate fags. This queer gets on the cbox once a week and shouts Jesus and gay shit and it pisses me off. His butt fucking Brady bunch of a team is terrible here and there's always a guarantee that it'll be in the playoffs. Meanwhile its annually reared by Morgan's shitshow and we all get a laugh out of it. I hope you get herpes up inside your butthole and it itches so the only way to scratch it is to infect all your buddies.
The I tell people that I played with all these NBA players when I really didn't but I want them to think that I'm cool but I'm black so it aint gonna happen Award.
Kansas City Chiefs (4-9) Black Thorpe
To think after all the white man has done for this dude and his people he's repaid us with "The Wiz" A black version of the wizard of Oz starring Michael Jackson good grief. Rich T needs to spend less time making up stories about NBA players and a little more time on his team here next season. No I will not drive down to Buffalo to be seen in public with a 40 year old black dude stop asking to meet up with me. Every black person on the planet smells like Africa and grape drink.
The Quitters Award.
Chicago Bears (5-8)Steve Mann Whoever.
Like most Michigan residents Steve is a quitter and wont be in the league next season. We all enjoyed watching Louisville destroy UM in the tourney this season and look forward to Miguel Cabrera tearing his ACL and being forced into retirement.
The Holy shit Locke owns this team Award.
Atlanta Falcons (5-8) Locke Hoover
Like the vacuum company, Locke sucks. Countless terrible offers await our 2013 season I'm sure. This dude makes Cards look like he's not a rapist.
The Ricky Romero is the next Roy Halladay because he was once sent down to the minors once Award
Buffalo Bills (5-8) Ryan Allen
Like most of ya'll I too cannot wait to hear about how Michael Vick, Ahmad Bradshaw and Shonn Greene will be all-pro.
The I traded my top 3 pick for a retired guy but once it was vetoed I deleted my roster and quit Award
Cincinnati Bengals (5-8) Whoever.
The biggest douchebag of the season owned this team until he stormed off like a child. Whoever owns this team next year has some work to do.
The Adrian Gonzalez Award
New Orleans Saints (6-7) Mike Krall
Insert Mexican joke here.
The Half-sack Award
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-6) Brandon Zabolicki
HAHAHAHA Faggot Half sack bitch boy. You're a Nazi.
The Imona vaction from life Award
Minnesota Vikings (7-6) Morgan Demartini
tHIS yer 4 shir Me thnks myteems soogood for future and I make playoffs and I fuck brandons&Jacks mouths. Suck it half sack.
The Goddamn it I got the same amount of wins as Zabo and Morgan Award.
Oakland Raiders (7-6) Kansas "The Handsome"
Often referred to as "The greatest LM of all time" Kansas is a hero and a leader for all mankind. However his charm and gorgeous body could only carry him so far in fantasy football.
The Sperm donor Award.
Detroit Lions (8-5) Owned by: Brenden (Spudd) Andrews
This season Spudd lead the league in child births, man I've got nothing bad to say about this dude though he's cool shit probably smells like a mix of diapers and potatoes buts its manageable. I don't give a shit about him or his team here he can go fuck himself for all I care. Hope the kids are well mate.
The AHAHAHA all your players got hurt Award.
Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Ryan "Starbanger"Seacrest Hannah
Your team sunk like a ship this year. First with MJD then Fred Jackson, it was amazing. We all enjoyed it and hope it happens again next season. The best part of it all was that it was me that was the one that ended your playoff dream. I fucked your dream like I fuck Shane's pussy, hard and with no remorse.
The I don’t really remember this owner Award
Philadelphia Eagles (9-4) Adam Bentley
Abla bla bla bla fuck off Bentley.
The Crimson Cried Award
Dallas Cowboys (9-4) Kenton Jones
The Tide may be Champs but the Boys are chumps. Kenton may just be the most passionate about a single sports team in the league. Some call it passion other call it crazy.. yeah lets just call him crazy and move on. Also I'd absolutely own him in Golf.
The Lady of Troy Award
Tennessee Titans (9-4) Troy Cavell
Another year of NFLD goes by another future offseason of Troy talking shit about how great his team is and how awesome that fast guy from buffalo is. (I'm in baseball mode I'm like a retard when it comes to thinking about a sport out of season I cant remember his name and now I've taken up all the space to write this award out with a stupid rant)
The Big bald woman Award
Houston Texans (9-4) Derek Gayley
Cross dressing then taking pictures and uploading them to twitter may be his passion because fantasy football certainly isn't. Somehow Bail had a winning record last season but that was probably because I traded for his team for 1 day last year.
The Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around Award
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-4) Chuck Robinson
The I went missing for months award but hey I got more wins then CITOS DID FUCK HIM EVEN THOUGH HE JUST TOOK OVER THE TEAM Award
Miami Dolphins (9-7) John Clemens
Brandon Marshall Mike Wallace is gonna be soooo good man..... winky face.
The I cheated to win the league Award.
San Diego Chargers (10-3) Liam "Cock" Roache
Everytime Liam has sex with his wife about a minute into it he has to completely stop moving before he prematurely ejaculates into her. While he's scrambling for a reason to explain the sudden hault to all movement like "I just wanna look into your eyes" and or "You're so beautiful" he also likes to start players he doesn't even own... the clock says 1:47 and he started at 1:46, best case scenario its been 1 minute and 59 seconds which is not a good outing and a coincidence because that's the same amount of time anyone here gave a shit that he won the league this year.
The Really? STL went 11-2 Award
St. Louis Rams (11-2) Steve Ellis?
Nobody owns this team anymore.
The My favourite team always wins the madness tourney Award.
Green Bay Packers (11-2) J Grant
Go Louisville! or Kentucky! whoever you like next year.
The I wasted an entire year by trading all my shit for picks to win the championship in 2012 but failed because I suck and have a shit brother Award.
Cleveland Browns (11-2) Joe Petrosino
All that.
The Tom Brady Award.
Carolina Panthers (12-1) Alex Rose
After repeat rapes of owners Alex still managed to choke in the playoffs again. Being 7 feet tall has its advantages and one of em is to somehow brain fuck owners with his giant penis through the internet into trading him their stars for handfuls of shit. In the end we can all sleep well knowing that this dude is still a virgin and a choke artist and there's no way he'll ever be successful in life.
The I miss DC who the fuck owns this team now? Award.
Jacksonville Jaguars (12-1) Bruce MacGillivray?
Seriously there is someone named Bruce in this league? Fuck Bruce.
Post Script...
Every one of ya'll can suck it for all I care.
Love Kansas.
Readers discretion is advised.
The 1 more win then I'll get next season Award
Indianapolis Colts (1-12) Achille Stink
The only way to save this team would be to take the top 15 FA's and just give them all to him. If this was World of warcraft Id be Mr. T Achille would be whatever a tiny thing is in that game.
The Most annoying dude on the internet Award
Denver Broncos (2-11) Andrew Bailey
I don't remember when you took over the team but lets just blame the entire season on you anyways. Andrew is one smart dude but there's no way he's an owner by the time 2013 starts he's got a bad rep and a big mouth. I fucking hate this guy.
The I went to take a bath in 2011, its now 2013 and my team is the worst, Time travel motherfucker Award
San Francisco 49ers (2-11) Sean Miller
After I lay a beat down on his candy ass in the finals of our cap hockey side league this week we will all know who the greatest Canadian is. This team is terrible what in the actual fuck happened?
The Mr. Updated Award.
New York Giants (2-11) Jim Larson
Your inability to update your shit here and in GS3 along with the inability to achieve an erection makes for a terrible combination of a man. If I met you in person I'd stomp your guts out. I hate you.
The I'm not the gay brother Award
Washington Redskins (3-10) Dave Anderson
Personally I cant believe this team beat 3 others. Daphud sucks but atleast he's not Nate.
The Don’t worry I have cap space Award
Arizona Cardinals (3-11) Cherals Cheatenson
Smurph gets up in the morning, sits to piss then puts on his clownshoes and takes a walk around in em. Before he leaves to go fry chicken at Fuckeyes and curse at the women he works with he makes time to cheat in some form of fantasy sports.
The 6 wins in 3 years Award
New England Patriots (3-10) Jack Journey
If your colossal failures were a golf tournament you'd be the Masters of the NFLD. I was gonna quit this league but leaving it behind with you in charge is imminent death. When owners cum in your face they hardly enjoy it anymore.
The Shane of all trades Award.
New York Jets (3-10) Shane Pence
Dude you're a fuckin donkey and a disgrace to fantasy sports. You've become my used condom here and in GS3 and I've fucked you so many times I'm bored. We've tried anal, spankings, choking, the works but nothing seems to satisfy. There is no doubt that I will continue to use you as my storage unit in 2013. "What's up" now ?
The I've watched all the twilight movies and loved them Award.
Seattle Seahawks (4-9) Nate Anderson
How much longer can I really make fun of Nate for being gay you ask? Is it getting old and boring? Well the answer to that is forever cause I hate fags. This queer gets on the cbox once a week and shouts Jesus and gay shit and it pisses me off. His butt fucking Brady bunch of a team is terrible here and there's always a guarantee that it'll be in the playoffs. Meanwhile its annually reared by Morgan's shitshow and we all get a laugh out of it. I hope you get herpes up inside your butthole and it itches so the only way to scratch it is to infect all your buddies.
The I tell people that I played with all these NBA players when I really didn't but I want them to think that I'm cool but I'm black so it aint gonna happen Award.
Kansas City Chiefs (4-9) Black Thorpe
To think after all the white man has done for this dude and his people he's repaid us with "The Wiz" A black version of the wizard of Oz starring Michael Jackson good grief. Rich T needs to spend less time making up stories about NBA players and a little more time on his team here next season. No I will not drive down to Buffalo to be seen in public with a 40 year old black dude stop asking to meet up with me. Every black person on the planet smells like Africa and grape drink.
The Quitters Award.
Chicago Bears (5-8)
Like most Michigan residents Steve is a quitter and wont be in the league next season. We all enjoyed watching Louisville destroy UM in the tourney this season and look forward to Miguel Cabrera tearing his ACL and being forced into retirement.
The Holy shit Locke owns this team Award.
Atlanta Falcons (5-8) Locke Hoover
Like the vacuum company, Locke sucks. Countless terrible offers await our 2013 season I'm sure. This dude makes Cards look like he's not a rapist.
The Ricky Romero is the next Roy Halladay because he was once sent down to the minors once Award
Buffalo Bills (5-8) Ryan Allen
Like most of ya'll I too cannot wait to hear about how Michael Vick, Ahmad Bradshaw and Shonn Greene will be all-pro.
The I traded my top 3 pick for a retired guy but once it was vetoed I deleted my roster and quit Award
Cincinnati Bengals (5-8) Whoever.
The biggest douchebag of the season owned this team until he stormed off like a child. Whoever owns this team next year has some work to do.
The Adrian Gonzalez Award
New Orleans Saints (6-7) Mike Krall
Insert Mexican joke here.
The Half-sack Award
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-6) Brandon Zabolicki
HAHAHAHA Faggot Half sack bitch boy. You're a Nazi.
The Imona vaction from life Award
Minnesota Vikings (7-6) Morgan Demartini
tHIS yer 4 shir Me thnks myteems soogood for future and I make playoffs and I fuck brandons&Jacks mouths. Suck it half sack.
The Goddamn it I got the same amount of wins as Zabo and Morgan Award.
Oakland Raiders (7-6) Kansas "The Handsome"
Often referred to as "The greatest LM of all time" Kansas is a hero and a leader for all mankind. However his charm and gorgeous body could only carry him so far in fantasy football.
The Sperm donor Award.
Detroit Lions (8-5) Owned by: Brenden (Spudd) Andrews
This season Spudd lead the league in child births, man I've got nothing bad to say about this dude though he's cool shit probably smells like a mix of diapers and potatoes buts its manageable. I don't give a shit about him or his team here he can go fuck himself for all I care. Hope the kids are well mate.
The AHAHAHA all your players got hurt Award.
Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Ryan "Starbanger"
Your team sunk like a ship this year. First with MJD then Fred Jackson, it was amazing. We all enjoyed it and hope it happens again next season. The best part of it all was that it was me that was the one that ended your playoff dream. I fucked your dream like I fuck Shane's pussy, hard and with no remorse.
The I don’t really remember this owner Award
Philadelphia Eagles (9-4) Adam Bentley
Abla bla bla bla fuck off Bentley.
The Crimson Cried Award
Dallas Cowboys (9-4) Kenton Jones
The Tide may be Champs but the Boys are chumps. Kenton may just be the most passionate about a single sports team in the league. Some call it passion other call it crazy.. yeah lets just call him crazy and move on. Also I'd absolutely own him in Golf.
The Lady of Troy Award
Tennessee Titans (9-4) Troy Cavell
Another year of NFLD goes by another future offseason of Troy talking shit about how great his team is and how awesome that fast guy from buffalo is. (I'm in baseball mode I'm like a retard when it comes to thinking about a sport out of season I cant remember his name and now I've taken up all the space to write this award out with a stupid rant)
The Big bald woman Award
Houston Texans (9-4) Derek Gayley
Cross dressing then taking pictures and uploading them to twitter may be his passion because fantasy football certainly isn't. Somehow Bail had a winning record last season but that was probably because I traded for his team for 1 day last year.
The Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around Award
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-4) Chuck Robinson
The I went missing for months award but hey I got more wins then CITOS DID FUCK HIM EVEN THOUGH HE JUST TOOK OVER THE TEAM Award
Miami Dolphins (9-7) John Clemens
The I cheated to win the league Award.
San Diego Chargers (10-3) Liam "Cock" Roache
Everytime Liam has sex with his wife about a minute into it he has to completely stop moving before he prematurely ejaculates into her. While he's scrambling for a reason to explain the sudden hault to all movement like "I just wanna look into your eyes" and or "You're so beautiful" he also likes to start players he doesn't even own... the clock says 1:47 and he started at 1:46, best case scenario its been 1 minute and 59 seconds which is not a good outing and a coincidence because that's the same amount of time anyone here gave a shit that he won the league this year.
The Really? STL went 11-2 Award
St. Louis Rams (11-2) Steve Ellis?
Nobody owns this team anymore.
The My favourite team always wins the madness tourney Award.
Green Bay Packers (11-2) J Grant
Go Louisville! or Kentucky! whoever you like next year.
The I wasted an entire year by trading all my shit for picks to win the championship in 2012 but failed because I suck and have a shit brother Award.
Cleveland Browns (11-2) Joe Petrosino
All that.
The Tom Brady Award.
Carolina Panthers (12-1) Alex Rose
After repeat rapes of owners Alex still managed to choke in the playoffs again. Being 7 feet tall has its advantages and one of em is to somehow brain fuck owners with his giant penis through the internet into trading him their stars for handfuls of shit. In the end we can all sleep well knowing that this dude is still a virgin and a choke artist and there's no way he'll ever be successful in life.
The I miss DC who the fuck owns this team now? Award.
Jacksonville Jaguars (12-1) Bruce MacGillivray?
Seriously there is someone named Bruce in this league? Fuck Bruce.
Post Script...
Every one of ya'll can suck it for all I care.
Love Kansas.
